I Miss The City I’ve Never Been To

by Tymoteusz Buhl

It has been over five months since the COVID-19 pandemic started both in Europe and in the US. After so many days of living in quarantine, I find more and more articles online containing love letters to life from before. There are plenty of them, especially about New York.

The city is known for its citizens who, in order to want to live there, constantly point out the elements of regular life and describe them as magical. Now, where it is advised to stay at home and not to participate in the traditional New York’s community, many locked and unhappy New Yorkers express their longing online. They describe their regular lifestyle from before and point out particular elements of it, such as feelings or smells. 

Obviously, there’s nothing wrong about that. I don’t judge any of that. In fact, I envy them. I envy them, that they live in a city that they love so much that they’re writing love letters to. I never had that. So far, I have lived in three different cities. I’ve always been able to find some aspects of them to enjoy. I liked the parks in my hometown. I appreciated the old industrial buildings reincarnated into clubs and restaurants in the city I lived in for my gap year. I now live and study in the city by the sea. And I love spending the hot summer evenings at the beach. However, I don’t love any of these cities enough to write love letters to them. 

It’s possible for me to relate to those letters written by New Yorkers. I’ve never been to New York, but I’ve always wanted to. I’ve read tons of articles about the city. I’ve watched many videos on YouTube about it. I read The New York Times. I even follow lots of New Yorkers on Instagram, hoping that this would bring me closer to the spirit of their affection towards that place.

Sometimes I feel like I’ve been there. I know which Subway line is the most crowded one. I am up to date with construction works on the L line. I live in the same climate that New York is in, so I can always relate to the weather talk they have. I really do feel sometimes like I’ve been there because I know so much. But at the same time, I am completely aware that what I know is probably only 10% of what living there really feels like. 

I’m sad that the city experienced the COVID-19 pandemic so hard. Reading about the empty streets and the lost spirit of New York is now something that I unfortunately have the occasion to do everyday. I do believe, however, that the city will survive this. Just like it survived multiple storms and terrorist attacks, including 9/11. Obviously it’ll take time. Obviously it’ll be hard. But both New York and its citizens are strong. Everything will eventually turn out fine. 

I miss reading about just how magical the city is. How the people seem to be difficult to be around at first, but eventually you notice the little things that create the sense of community. I don’t want to see YouTube videos that guide through the new reality (a term that I don’t want to hear anymore as well).

In my everyday life, I miss some things that I’m sure that New Yorkers miss as well. I miss the morning commute. That feeling when you have to wake up very early in the morning, take a shower, force yourself to eat something and go outside. When you take a train and share your ride with others who are just as tired as you are. But everyone has to do that. There’s no other option. Everyone smells nice because they just got out of the shower and perfumed themselves. Everyone listens to upbeat music and scroll through their social media and/or read the news. Everyone is focusing on physically getting ready to run their day. All together in the same train, but somehow everyone is doing it on their own. That’s definitely something that I miss the most. 

And it will happen again eventually.